be.careful-- it's fragile

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you are my precious prince so bold
you are my very heartbeat
and my expressions unbound
you are the very temple of my soul
in you, i see a fresh tomorrow
a new beginning has just begun
i hope our feelings for each other
will continue to grow
a union of two souls made one

Friday, May 13, 2005

i slept at 5 last night...with my splitting headache....and on top of that....visions of my parents and my youngest brother death appeared again...this is the 3rd time i had these visions...what does it mean?...and i finally got to sleep with my swollen eyes......and i woke up at 10...to my mom's screaming voice....i told her i got remedial at 10 today coz i wanna go out...just get my ass out of house...its been damn boring ah......and she screamed at me...accusing me of not being serious about my studies and all that..come on lah...the only thing i missed was my 2037 exam and this 'remedial'....-well she doesn't know about me skipping lectures...so lets put that aside-...she kept on repeating and blaming me on missing the exam...yes i know that it is my fault...but i was studying till 4 the night b4..and i had a very bad headache....and i just cudn't get up in time for the paper...and i told her lah not to worry..coz there will be a supp paper..and if i fail it too...i'll just have to retake the module next yr....and she screamed at me for taking the easy way out....there is no easy way out!!! thats the only way!!.....i guess she's not happy with the manner i handle it....but pls ah...i dun wanna be retained for another 6 months...and obviously i'm scared for my paper....but she always have to keep on repeating about me missing the paper...what do i have to do...them blaming me for waking up late.....its making me more scared lah dammit.....and being scared doesn't change the situation....u still have to go take the supp paper..and if u fail or miss it..retake the module....there's no other way...once she got mad about something....she'll find fault with every other thing....and i got slapped and hit my her....great..its been so long since i got hit by the feather duster...and now i got beautiful stripes on my body.....she took my inhaler,my money and my hp away...so ppl..dun kol me for the time being aight...just msg....and she doesn't even allow me to close my room door -like what the hell?-...she said its her house...and i have no right to be in it.... i guess i wasted my tears on her last night...

so now i'm thinking...should i stay at home locked up in my room and not go out the whole of today....or just go out and come back freaking late...my hp is not with me...she cannot call me....i wanna go with da 2nd option...but since my phone is not with me...i cudn't contact any of my frenz whether they wanna go out or not..so i'll be alone...damnn bored...how?...how?..

# posted by amirah batrisyia | 5/13/2005 11:50:00 AM @m|rAh bAtR|sY|A mAh LoVeS sYeD fArOuK sHaH